ain ashiqin
1159@270293
sixteen
ohana
rgsrcy
I want school work to go away,
And never come another day.
Let all my yearmates come and stay;
We'd talk and laugh and shop and play.
And if we were about to pay,
The boss'd say, "Oh, it's okay."
But nothing's ever what I say...
If only things would go my way.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
I can't stand it anymore.. I keep thinking about you and you're not here. I keep thinking about how long I have not seen your face, ruffled your hair, and do whatever we used to do. I really, really, really, really miss you. I'm supposed to be completing my Geography homework, but instead I'm blogging now. Why? Because I couldn't stop thinking of you. You're always there, on my mind. I try to push you out of my mind for a few minutes, so I can sleep earlier, but one after another, scenes of you enter my mind. And each is worse than the one before. In the end, I just broke down. I know, you're thinking I'm mad. But I just can't help it. I can't do anything to help myself, either. I'm so pathetic. Fortunately, everybody else is asleep at this time. Otherwise, they must think something must be wrong with me, breaking down so suddenly like that. But.. just how many guys must contact me and see me first before you do? Do you know, since the last time I contacted you, I've seen Hoirul on the bus, seen Bo Wen a lot of times on my way to the bus stop, contacted Bo Wen, seen Kun Wei every single morning at the bus stop, contacted Asyraf and contacted Ke Qing? How many more must I contact before you finally, finally, finally, finally contact me? I can't keep waiting forever. And yet I want to. I don't know!! Argh!! How?? Tell me, how do I survive at a crazy school like this without you?? HOW?? ARGH!!! I never, ever, ever want to face this distress again. But I probably have no choice but to bear with it. How to bear with it? I feel so empty inside. I know it will be a surprise for me the next time I walk beside you. By experience. Once, after not seeing you for 3 weeks, I was surprised how comfortable I felt walking beside you. Just walking beside you. It was very comfortable, comforting, natural, I don't know. It felt.. good. That was because I forgot how it felt just walking beside you. Now it's been a looooooooooooooooooooong time. How surprised would I be? I try to prepare myself for that feeling again, but I've forgotten it. I've forgotten the feeling. I tried to keep it as long as I could, but now it's all used up. I need you. I really miss you. When can you be walking beside me again? I didn't know such a simple thing could bring so much pleasure. I really need you. I really miss you. I still care a lot for you. Please be beside me sooner.
i'm still here.
1:21 am
