ain ashiqin
1159@270293
sixteen
ohana
rgsrcy
I want school work to go away,
And never come another day.
Let all my yearmates come and stay;
We'd talk and laugh and shop and play.
And if we were about to pay,
The boss'd say, "Oh, it's okay."
But nothing's ever what I say...
If only things would go my way.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Aahh mann. Nothing's going right. I don't know why. Anybody willing to tell me why?
Number one. The watch I bought for my mother was a bit too big for her wrist. Next time I shall make sure to get something more suitable, fitting and whatsoever.
Number two. I'm having my ahems and tomorrow is the start of the fasting month. Therefore, I shall not be able to fast. Damnit. How boring. I really want to fast tomorrow. Really, really.
Number three. I still haven't done my late Malay essay. And I currently have no inspiration to do so. I mean, please lar, it's Malay Literature, and I always suck at Literature. If I suck at English Literature, then what can I say about Malay Literature?
Number four. I passed a booklet of six tickets to my younger sister to help me sell to her friends. I have just found out that she lost them. Luckily, she lost them somewhere at home because she always forgot to bring them out each time she intended to. A little mess at home wouldn't matter compared to reporting loss of tickets.
Number five. I'm still not used to Angle Properties and we're already moving on to Mensuration. Who am I? A Mathematics genius?
Number six. My family wants me to quit RCY next year. They say RCY is demanding too much from me. I don't know what to do because of problem number seven.
Number seven. I don't feel any more passion for RCY. I don't know why but I don't like not having any more passion for it. I love loving RCY. But I don't feel passion anymore. Why? I do love my yearmates. Except for a few who, in my opnion, either think very highly of themselves or are over-domineering. But I do like them. I just have no more... passion.
Number eight. I miss the Sec 4 ma'ams. A lot. Really. So do my yearmates. Sigh. I wish I can see them more times at school. Outside school. Wherever. I just miss them. A lot.
Number nine. Him. Oh damnit, I hate this problem so much but I just have to admit that the problem is still there. I don't know what to do. I have to admit I still haven't asked him what he wants me to do. Not enough guts, you see. Sigh. But I really do still have feelings for him. But we don't chat anymore even when we see each other online. What should I do? I don't know. We don't chat on the phone anymore like we used to everyday. We don't even sms each other anymore. What happened? What went wrong? I don't know. I really don't know. I still use that keychain on my handphone even though we don't communicate anymore. Aahh mann. This sucks. I really do still have feelings for him. A lot. A lot. A lot. But then. Aahh. I really miss him. But does he? I don't know. Sheesh. Sigh. Sigh. SIGH.
Number ten. I did very very very badly for my tests. A horrible 5 over 10 for History. Again. I want a 6 over 10 this time. At least. I asked Mr. Azahar to relook at my last question. I'm positive I presented both sides. English. Aaahh damnit. So low. Why are my marks for English so low? Why did it de-prove so badly? But at least I passed. But it was below average. Ain, Ain. What have you done to your English? Literature. Literature didn't take me by surprise. I already expected low marks for Literature. At least I didn't fail it. Malay. Summarising passages. I did very badly for that too. But at least I passed. Anyway, I was never a Malay expert. Geography. Sheesh. I did very badly for Geography too. But I knew I wasn't very good at Geography. I just didn't expect it to be so low. Even though I did pass. I only did okay for Mathematics. Damnit. My GPA is going to suck again.
Number eleven. Pimples. Damn, how I hate having pimples. But at least it's not so terrible.
Number twelve. My father and my elder sister commented that I'm getting fatter. Of course I am because I'm starting to eat three times a day but not hurrying much to school anymore. How can I hurry when I'm sitting in the bus? So I shall eat twice a day from now on. And I shall ban ice cream, sweets, fizzy drinks and full cream milk. And minimal potato chips allowed. I do feel insulted being said to be fatter. A lot insulted.
Number thirteen. My eyebags are getting worse. I try to get them to be smaller but to no avail. Sleeping early doesn't help. What does when a person has been sleeping at 3am since kindergarten?
Number fourteen. My oral exams are coming up. It's on 4 October. It's really getting me very worried. I'm not good at Picture Conversation and now with the new things to look out for (pronunciation and emphasis) I'm not sure about Reading Aloud too. Please don't let me flunk my oral exams.
Number fifteen. I haven't figured out the pronunciation of 'pure'. I mean, how do I pronounce it? Like poor? Peer? Pooer? I don't understand. It really stresses me out.
I better go to sleep now. It's like, 1am already. 1.30am, really. And to think there are more than those problems. But no, I can't share them because:
number one, it's so late already.
number two, they're too private.
Really, I should stop blogging now. Damnit, and to think I haven't found the right html code I want.
i'm still here.
11:57 pm
