ain ashiqin
1159@270293
sixteen
ohana
rgsrcy
I want school work to go away,
And never come another day.
Let all my yearmates come and stay;
We'd talk and laugh and shop and play.
And if we were about to pay,
The boss'd say, "Oh, it's okay."
But nothing's ever what I say...
If only things would go my way.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Hey, I'm back again. Sigh. I don't know why but recently I feel a bit depressed. Actually I do know a few of the reasons.
Anyway. First day of school was okay I guess. Other than the fact that I couldn't find the programme on INET and therefore didn't know what to bring, so I brought along the horrendous Literature book by Shakespeare. Oh yeah and I brought a lot of other stuffs too, but you wouldn't care to know.
My teacher is this female teacher who enunciates her 't's a lot. Yeah, her name is Ms Chen. Or was it Ms Cheu? Haha, eitherways, it's kind of like the same, isn't it? I have to admit I was a bit disappointed with the distribution of yearmates among the classes. I don't know what I was expecting. I guess I was hoping that many of us would be put in the same class. Haha. Stupid me.
Basically, there were a lot of icebreaker games, yesterday and today. Thanks to them, I have memorised the names of nearly all of my new classmates. Okay, actually it's also because half of the class belonged to 102'06 too. But anyway. The teacher randomly put us in groups and we had to find what was similar among us group members. I can't remember what my group listed, but some of the points were:
- We were all feeling cold
- We all went to Sentosa before
- All of us likes white
- We like watching television
- We are all fun people.
I have to say that I'm not sure about the last point because I think I'm totally not fun. But anyways. I was the only odd one out in the group because they love Spongebob but I don't. Well, the other group loves Spongebob too. In fact, majority of the class do. Anyway. We had to think up of a group name and guess what mine is? It's from some Russel Peter's show or something or other. I don't really know. Anyway, we named ourselves ! XOBILE which I don't know the meaning of but yeah, that's our name. To say it, you just click your tongue for the exclamation mark and then say 'bile' the way you say it in 'belated'. Yeah, without the XO. Interesting, huh? The teacher said she won't call us that because it's too difficult so she will just say 'that group' and point to us. But ! XOBILE is still our group name anyway. Not like you really care.
Actually, don't mind my tone or whatever in this blog post. I told you, I'm just being depressed. Yeah, partially it's because I'm PMS-ing. The other half is because I don't feel loved at all due to certain varying reasons. It's like feeling insecure. I don't like it. But I really don't feel loved at all. And I still feel a lot of hurt from what my friend said, from what a group of my yearmates joked about and from what a yearmate said today. Sigh. It's so depressing, can? I feel almost hated. I guess nobody meant anything they said but the way they said it was like.. ouch. Maybe they really meant it afterall. This isn't nice. It really hurts. Hurt + Insecurity + PMS = Current Ain. Sigh. Horrible.
Anyway. I have to constantly remind myself to switch to high alert mode when in school. I keep forgetting since it's been a long holiday so I don't look out much, and when I finally notice stuff, it comes as a shock. A total shock, I freeze in my tracks. Sigh.
Anyway. After the after-school activities, I walked to the busstop across the road in the heavy rain. 10 seconds into the rain and it felt like swimming and I was drenched all over. Really. When I finally reached the traffic lights and crossed the road, there was this motorcyclist near me who was so surprised at seeing how drenched I was (I was gasping for breath in the heavy rain, it really felt like coming up from pool water, only I don't know how to swim) that he lifted his helmet screen or whatever it's called to get a better look at me. Haha. I started laughing a bit because the surprise on his face really looked funny.
Anyway. On the bus, it was freezing cold because I was drenched and the bus was air-conditioned. Yeah, I was quickly scanning for double seats to sit down because I was wet and so felt like sitting alone. The only double seats were in front of these gangster-looking people. I don't know, dyed hair and pierced ears and the way they dress and a lot of attitude? Yeah, but I was too tired to care so I just sat there anyway. I couldn't close my ears, right? So of course I heard their conversation. Guess what they were talking about? Gangster-looking people talking about piping and air filter and stuff. Yeah, they used a lot of 'f' words, but piping? Technical stuff? A gangster? In my brain, it doesn't really go. But anyway, that's the way it was.
Oh yeah. I realised Jia Ying and my younger sister (Sara) really click. They were like so close even though they first met. And their hairstyles are like the same. And one of Jia Ying's post was this song lyrics titled Lips of an Angel. Sara sings it all the time and I just realised Jia Ying posted it on her blog too. Jia Ying said she hopes Sara won't be our CCA junior because then we can't be so close to her. Yeah but Sara is considering. At least she knows how great yearmates can be. But anyway, I told Jia Ying that if Sara becomes our CCA junior, then we won't have such a hard time finding out how they feel about us, clearing up misunderstandings and passing messages. Then it'll be much easier. Oh yeah but we can't show favouritism, play with her or let her follow us to year lunch and stuff anymore. In fact, if she joins, we'll just have to hope she won't leak our year's secrets to her future yearmates. But then again, this is all 'if she joins'. She hasn't joined yet so I don't really want to see so much ahead.
Yeah and Jia Ying, if you're reading this, just to let you know that we do care and we do take you seriously and I know it hurts when you think we don't take you seriously but trust me, we really do care a lot and take you seriously even if you think we don't.
Oh yeah and yearmates, we still have to offically decide our year name. Without it, we can't start anything. My brother's still waiting for the year name, you know. Sigh.
Okay then. I guess I'll stop here for today. By the way, I'm skipping the Shakespeare book first and reading To Kill a Mockingbird since it's much more understandable. Only that it's a bit boring for now. Okay then. That's all. I hope I won't feel so depressed again tomorrow. Or the day after. Forever. Sigh.
i'm still here.
10:51 pm
