ain ashiqin
1159@270293
sixteen
ohana
rgsrcy
I want school work to go away,
And never come another day.
Let all my yearmates come and stay;
We'd talk and laugh and shop and play.
And if we were about to pay,
The boss'd say, "Oh, it's okay."
But nothing's ever what I say...
If only things would go my way.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Sigh. There's nothing to do anymore. There's nothing to try. I am simply too stupid.
Okay, rewind to Tuesday. We had Aesthetics, so obviously I couldn't meet up with the other yearmates during recess. Then during Aesthetics we made Chicken rice and 'green bean and saga dessert' or something along that line. I don't know but after school Rasyidah said that most of them saw the mirror in the kitchen vibrating or something, due to the earthquake. Whatever. Then it was CLE lesson followed by lunch, which was taken over by Geography. So obviously I couldn't see my yearmates again and I was missing them quite badly. Sigh. Most of us ate our Chicken rice in class during Geography lesson. Mine tasted horrible. The cucumber was bitter, I bit into a piece of ginger and I wasn't really paying attention to the teacher. And after school yearmates said they felt the earthquake which happened at Sumatra. And I didn't notice even though Rasyidah did. Sigh. I seriously suck.
Okay then Wednesday. We had Geography and Mathematics SA back-to-back. How horrible can it get? Even though Jia Ying was nice and caring enough to call me to remind me to mug, summarise the topic for me and photocopy her notes, I still did quite badly for Geography. Like hello lar, I also ignored Chemistry lesson just to finish mugging for Geography. I didn't finish mugging anyway. Sigh. I don't know why, how come I am so stupid. I felt so depressed after Geography. Then it was Mathematics. EURGH. I threw away 9 marks already simply by not answering two questions. NINE marks. And the paper is over 40 only. That's like almost a quarter. And guess what? Smart Ain has time management problem. Like seriously. I know how to answer the two questions I didn't do. I'm positive that I can solve it over time. But guess what? Ain was too afraid that when she does the 4-mark question, she would lose 5 marks for not doing the other questions, or the other way round. So she decided to alternate between the two and ended up not finishing both. I hate myself. Why am I so slow and stupid? And dumb me had to cry during recess twice, in class while waiting for the teacher after recess and after training. I couldn't help it. Thanks to myself, my GPA this term is going to be extremely low like last term. I don't want to fail. I really, really don't.
Then before and during training, my bra unbuckled by itself. So embarassing, can?
Then Jia Ying, Kai Zin and Huan Ying stayed back for a while after training to help make sure I don't digress from revising my Malay. They know I digress very easily. Then Huan Ying had to leave and she wanted something to do, so she became I/C for [some stuff]. Then Jia Ying and Kai Zin stayed back all the way until 7:35pm with me then we went home. They were super nice, can? They offered to help me do my Philosophy journal which was overdue one week and is one of my stress causes. I love them so much, and I really appreciate their help. Really, I don't know how to thank them. I don't even know how to express it. Gosh. I just love you guys so much! Thanks a billion to the power of infinity!
Today is Amanda's birthday. Smart Ain forgot to get her a birthday present because she simply forgot. Sigh. What is wrong with me? Haha. Happy birthday, Amanda! You're fourteen and old, just like me! Anyway. We had Malay SA today. We had to write a descriptive essay and due to my horrible time management, I spent the first 15 minutes just stoning and 35 minutes thinking and writing. And I still didn't finish the paper. I was writing about how tender the chicken was when the time was up. So I ended super awkwardly. Sigh. I think I am horible. Why can't I be smarter?
Tomorrow we'll be sleeping over at Rasyidah's house. I don't know what to say about that.
Don't mind me. I'm just feeling stressed and depressed. I can't take pressure well. And I depressed because I'm too stupid and there's nothing that can be done. I've tried so many ways of studying and none works. My brain is useless. Sigh.
Ain, how stupid can you get?
Very.
i'm still here.
9:11 pm
