ain ashiqin
1159@270293
sixteen
ohana
rgsrcy
I want school work to go away,
And never come another day.
Let all my yearmates come and stay;
We'd talk and laugh and shop and play.
And if we were about to pay,
The boss'd say, "Oh, it's okay."
But nothing's ever what I say...
If only things would go my way.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Okay. Been five days since I last blogged.
I finally decided to post pictures and stuff. So here goes.
Stolen from Mona's blog.
Taken after Talentime Auditions.
From left to right: Charlotte, Mona, Jia Ying, Ain, Diyanah, Lishan, Huan Ying
Khaing Zin's the photographer.
Yes, I know I look horrible here.
Also stolen from Mona's blog.
From left to right: Charlotte, Khaing Zin, Jia Ying, Ain, Lishan, Huan Ying
And the extra one is Diyanah.
Mona's the photographer.
Here are the neoprints I promised to put up when I no longer feel lazy.
Clockwise, from top right hand corner: Rebecca, Amalina, Ain, Nina
From top to bottom, left to right: Ama, Rebearkie, Nina, Ain
bimb! is Rebearkie, chio! is Ama, cute is Nina, ain is Ain.
Obviously, I decorated this one.
Left column, from top to bottom: Rebearkie, Nina, Rebearkie
Middle column, from top to bottom: Ain, Nina, Ain
Right column, from top to bottom: Ama, Ama
Isn't this one so cool?
Yeah, I know the neoprints' resolution is quite bad. I was never an expert in scanning in stuff.
Sigh. I've been making quite a lot of effort to be a good girl. I didn't lie about my homework, I tried doing a lot of my homework but I can't finish anyway, I tried paying attention in class and I did most of my Mathematics. And Yu Jia, Rebearkie, me, Sarah and Hamizah finally completed Philosophy. Which was due like one month ago. I clip up my hair some days when I feel like it, so that I can be legal. And today, I wore my tight belt (but just because I couldn't find my loose one).
But the enthusiasm to be a nice girl didn't last the entire week. By Wednesday, I wasn't paying attention in Biology just so that I couldn't complete my Mathematics, and on Thursday, I continued my bad habit of daydreaming in Biology. I keep stoning and I keep daydreaming and I know it's bad but I really can't help it. It's quite tiring to try to be a good legal girl. Because I hate tight belts and I hate wearing belts high and I hate having to clip up my fringe and I hate tucking my PE shirt into my cullotes. Who ever tucks her shirt into her cullotes, anyway?
Sigh. I hate this. My father's been pressuring me to make it all the way to Harvard and I know that's a ridiculous demand to ask from me. It's really very ridiculous. I know he wants the best for me but I know my limits and I just can't do that. Because I'm already struggling to just stay in this school.
In lower primary, I worried about whether I would get a hundred or less. In upper primary, I worried whether it would be a ninety or less than that. Last year, I worried about being at least average in class. Now, I worry about just staying in this school. I don't know. I don't know anything at all. I don't know how to study, how to revise, how to stop daydreaming, how to take down notes, how to manage my time, how to deal with myself. I find that I am a huge problem to me. Sigh.
And my parents still don't know about my flunking History. How do I tell them?
I shall try harder for the upcoming exams, like Literature re-test, Geography SA and all that. I have to. I don't have a choice. I must try to squeeze in my Biology PT over the weekends despite my having to complete my Japanese project, my Japanese classes, religious class, and all the unreasonable amount of homework. Plus, Art.
Sometimes, people ask me what combination I intend to take next year. I tell them I don't know, and I hear their plans for all the way to JC. Once, I wondered what I would take too. I find that I am useless at practically everything. I was thinking that I would not ever never never ever ever take History and Biology unless I have no choice.
But yesterday, my dad told me his hopes that I would take Biology and go to Harvard and be a Doctor. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think anymore. He went like, "Please, please, please?" And I didn't know what to do in that kind of situation. Half of my mind was screaming, " Don't you know your daughter here failed History? Don't you know she may get kicked out of school?" and the other half was just totally blank. I didn't promise him anything. But he looked really very hopeful, my heart almost broke.
I can only think of Studies, Results, Exams, Lessons, Homework, Red Cross, and the Year right now. My brain doesn't allow for anything else. No more BGR, no more anime, no more poem writing, no more anything else. Just School. Sigh.
Pathetic huh?
i'm still here.
9:26 pm
